So Hot It’s Scary! I have no idea what that tagline means but hot can be scary right? Welcome everybody to this Summerslam 94 review. And tonight we have a double main event ahead of us. The first is WWF Champion Bret Hart against brother and King Of The Ring Owen Hart. Two top talent who just happen to be brothers take on one another inside a steel cage. This may or may not be the end of this rivalry but either way we’ll get a definitive winner and World Heavyweight Champion.

The other main event is between two Undertakers. Yes, two. The original Undertaker returns following his casket match with Yokozuna at Royal Rumble. Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase has been claiming for weeks that it is he bringing back The Undertaker and when Dibiase did bring back the dead man it was evident that it wasn’t the real Undertaker. Paul Bearer brings back the real Undertaker tonight and he goes one on one with Dibiases Undertaker.

Ted Dibiase is back in the limelight as he has been buying heels and leading a Million Dollar Corporation. His first two men are Irwin R Shyster and Bam Bam Bigelow. Two easily led heels as Dibiase bought Bigelows contracts from Luna and I.R.S is Teds former partner. Tonight they take on The Headshrinkers, the current reigning tag team champions. Another man associated with Dibiase is Lex Luger. Tatanka is adamant that Luger has joined Dibiase’s Million Dollar Corporation and tonight he’s looking for prove it.

Tqo people with championship still in tact are Diesel and Alundra Blayze. Tonight Alundra takes on an old enemy from Japan, Bull Nakano who has been bought into the WWF by Luna. Diesel defends his Intercontinental title against the man who he won it from, Razor Ramon. Also tonight, expect to see Jeff Jarrett take on Mabel. So let’s get to it.

“Macho Man” Randy Savage’s music kicks off Summerslam 88 and the former 2 time WWF Champion comes out and welcomes everybody to Chicago and Summerslam. It’s all bought to us by the New Generation. Savage shakes hand with The British Bulldog who is sat at ringside. Savage then introduces us to Jerry Lawler and Vince McMahon who are ringside. Lawler then drops the bombshell that we have new tag team champions! The Headshrinkers lost the belts to Shawn Michaels and Diesel. Time to kick off things with our first match.

Irwin R Shyster & Bam Bam Bigelow vs. The Headshrinkers (Fatu & Samu)

Well this was suposed to be for the tag team titles but as Jerry Lawler announced, the Headshrinkers are no longer champions. “Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase now has his own stable, The Million Dollar Corporation. He’s buying heels left, right and centre and two of his first guys are ex tag team partner I.R.S and The Beast From The East, Bam Bam Bigelow. The two men Razor Ramon beat at King Of The Ring 94. Captain Lou Albano and Afa are ringside with The Headshrinkers. I.R.S has a pretty good Summerslam record having won 2 of his 3 matches at the event. He’s beaten Greg Valentine and the 123 Kid in the past but lost in tag action to The Legion Of Doom. It’s Bam Bam Bigelow who’s looking for his first Summerslam win that starts the match against Fatu. Bam Bam actually teamed up with The Headshrinkers at last years Summerslam against Tatanka and The Smoking Gunns. Fatu goes for a powerslam but Bigelow lands on him. Fatu does knock Bigelow down with a big clothesline then tags in Samu. Bam Bam tags IRS to an “Irwin” chant but Same takes him down easily and gets a two count. Samu soon misses a cross body but IRS then misses one of his own and goes flying over the top rope.

I.R.S teamed up with The Headshrinkers at King Of The Ring 93 so there’s plenty of history between these four men. Fatu is tagged back in but Bam Bam gets involved to give him and IRS the advantage. Bam Bam even smashes Fatu’s head into IRS’s briefcase. Bigelow is tagged in. He’s looking for his first PPV win since Wrestlemania. He’s the only man in this match not to have won a match at the last PPV, King Of The Ring. Both men go down and they both make hot tags to IRS and Samu. Samu comes in and takes down everyone! He hits a headbutt off the second rope on IRS. Bigelow breaks up the pinfall so Samu sends him packing. The Headshrinkers double team IRS now, hitting a double front Russian Leg Sweep. Fatu then goes up top and hits a big splash on IRS! Dibiase distracts the referee allowing Bam Bam to come in and stomp away at Fatu. Bigelow then takes down Lou Albano but in comes Afa! Afa come sin and hits some right hands on Bam Bam and thee referee sees it and calls for the bell! All four men go at it in the aisleway now and it seems as though The Million Dollar Corporation have won by disqualification but this one is far from over!

Rating: 6/10

Leslie Nielson is backstage looking for The Undertaker! He bumps into someone else (George someone?!) and there’s plenty of cheesy lines. Good stuff, I like it.

Razor Ramon backstage now. He’s getting ready for his big match with Diesel.

Alundra Blayze (c) vs. Bull Nakano – Women’s Title Match

Bull Nakano is led to the ring by Luna. She comes out to The Orient Express’s music. You’d think they’d find new music for her. Nakano has massive hair. Blayze is the face of the women’s division. She successfully defended her belt against Leilani Kai at Wrestlemania and this is her second defence. This is Bulls PPV debut in the WWF whilst it’s only Blayze’s second PPV match. Both men receive flowers before the match. Bull starts the match well, hitting a clothesline then throwing Blayze across the ring by her hair a couple of times. I’d like to see Luna against Blayze. Bull gets the first near fall of the match then goes to the sleeper. This is the first women’s match in Summerslam history, although there was a scheduled match between Sensational Sherri and Sapphire one year that didn’t happen. Alundra starts a comeback now and hits hurricanrana but it doesn’t last long. Bull Nakano locks on a Boston Crab in the middle of the ring. A “USA” chant breaks out. Blayze eventually manages to reach the ropes. Bull then locks on another submission hold and it looks vicious. She uses the hair though and so the referee breaks it up.

Luna soon gets involved, choking Blayze on the top rope. Bull then goes back to the submissions, locking on a wristlock. Alundra Blayze then starts the comeback, taking Bull down repeatedly. She then goes for a piledriver but Nakano back body drops her and slams her to the mat before getting a near fall. Blayze soon goes for another hurricanrana but Nakano reverses it into a powerbomb for another near fall. She then goes up top but Blayze avoids the legdrop off the top and hits a German suplex for the win! Alundra Blayze gets a huge pop as she retains her womens title in a really solid title match. Both women were on point in this one.

Rating: 7/10

Backstage now and Todd Pettingill is backstage with Shawn Michaels and Diesel. They’re the new tag team champions, which is a bit pointless considering they won’t be defending the title tonight. Diesel says Razor Ramon won’t be getting the Intercontinental title tonight. Some NFL bloke is there, “Sweetness” but Michaels isn’t fussed about that.

Diesel (c) vs. Razor Ramon – Intercontinental title match

Both of these guys were successful in matches at King Of The Ring, well Razor lost in the final but 2 out of 3 aint bad. Disel actually beat the WWF Champion, Bret Hart, by disqualification. This Intercontinental title really feels like it’s got a lot of meaning to it. Walter Payton aka Sweetness is at ringide for Razor Ramon whilst Diesel has Shawn Michaels. Ramon has only had one Summerslam match before and he beat Ted Dibiase at last years event. He’s looking to make it 2 for 2 whilst Diesel hopes to win on his Summerslam debut. Razor starts the match quickly, slapping Diesel all the way to the outside of the ring. Diesel soon gets back into it though, going to work on Razors back. It’s back and forth for a while as the two men exchange clotheslines and elbows. Michaels soon gets involved, pulling Razors hair as Diesel chokes him with his boot. Diesel soon locks on a sleeper before throwing the bad guy to the outside.

Summerslam 92 is the last time the Intercontinental title changed hands on pay per view. That was two years ago when British Bulldog defeated Bret Hart. Shawn Michaels gets involved again, taking the turnbuckle off the corner. Sweetness then chases Shawn Michaels around the ring which backfires when the referee gets involved allowing Michaels to clothesline Razor Ramon! Diesel looks like he was hoping for a countout victory as Sweetness rolls Ramon back in. The Intercontinental title has been held by Razor, Michaels and Diesel since just before Survivor Series 92. That’s nearly two years. Actually, Jannetty held the belt for a month too. It’s all Diesel now as he throws Razor into another post. The crowd are right behind Ramon who just gets nailed with a big boot. That earns him a two count. Diesel then locks on an abdominal stretch suspiciously near the rope. And it doesn’t take him long before he grabs it. Razor soon starts a comeback but Diesel knocks him down. He then aims to throw him into the exposed turnbuckle but Razor reverses it and throws Diesel into it! Near fall from that.

It’s all Razor now as he slaps away at Diesel. He scoops big daddy cool up and gets another near fall. Michaels climbs up to the apron and Razor slaps him off but it’s enough to distract the former champion. Disel then goes for The Jackknife but Razor back body drops his way out of it and motions for The Razors Edge! Michaels gets up on the apron again distracting the challenger and allowing for Diesel to hit a flying shoulder tackle. Michaels then grabs the title but Sweetness grabs it off him! The referee runs out to Sweetness allowing Michaels to get in the ring. Diesel holds Razor for him to his sweet chin music but Razor gets out of the way and Michaels nails Diesel! The crowd go nuts! Both Razor and Diesel are down and as Michaels tries to get back in the ring, Sweetness pulls him out! Razor then covers Diesel and gets the three! Razor Ramon wins the match and is the new Intercontinental champion! Michaels and Diesel can’t believe it. A great match between these two with plenty of action on the outside and inside of the ring. Razor becomes a two time Intercontinental champion!

Rating: 7.25/10

Over to Randy Savage now who congratulates Razor Ramon for winning the IC title for a second time. Randy then throws back to Vince McMahon who shows us a replay of Michaels smashing Diesel.

Backstage to Diesel now who isn’t happy with Michaels. He thought Shawn was going to be there for him! Michaels is in his locker room and promises to get Diesel another Intercontinental title run. Shawn blames Walter Payton and then kicks out the camera.

Now to Todd Pettingill who is backstage with Lex Luger and Tatanka. There’s an opinion poll asking whether Luger has sold out to the Million Dollar Man. 54% think he has! Tatanka knows that he has sold out. We see some footage of Dibiase saying it’s a done deal and Dibiase watching his match. Ted helps Luger beat Crush and we see Dibiase going into Lugers dressing room. Luger still deny’s it all but says it’s a free country and anyone can think what they want.

Tatanka vs. Lex Luger

This match is based around Tatankas accusations of Lex Luger joining the Million Dollar Corporation. Tatanka gets a mixed reaction when he comes out.Both men have unblemished Summerslam historys, Tatanka has won on the last two Summerslams whilst Luger won last year in the main event. These two men have faced off on PPV before and they drew in their King Of The Ring quater final in 1993. Luger gets a mixed reaction too. Tatanka tells the camera that Lex has sold out. These two men went through most of 1993 undefeated but now both have them lost the last PPV match they were involved in. Luger to Yokozuna and Tatanka to Owen Hart. Both men start aggressively in this one. Luger knocks Tatank down with a shoulder barge. Lawler claims that it’s a similar shoulder barge to one he’s seen Ted Dibiase use. Both men exchange lefts and rights. Luger then hits a big hop toss on Tatanka, sending him across the ring. Lex then hits a suplex and gets a mixed reaction. He misses with the follow up elbow and Tatanka takes the advantage, hitting a powerslam and getting a 2 count.

Tatanka then starts his war dance and gets some boos himself. He hits some chops and gets another 2 count. Tatanka then hits a chop from the top and gets another two. This is Tatanka’s biggest PPV match to date whilst Luger looks to be on a slow decline. The Native American misses from the top and Lex hits a big clothesline or two. Just then The Million Dollar Man walks to ringside with a big bag. Luger sees Dibiase who holds some money out to him. Tatanka then rolls up Lex from behind and gets the three count! Tatanka with a huge win on pay per view. Luger can’t believe it and goes toe to toe with Tatanka. Dibiase then gets back in the ring and Luger kicks the money out of his hand! Tatanka then attacks Luger from behind and hits his Samoan Drop twice. Dibiase barks orders at Tatanka as a “USA” chant breaks out. Tatanka and Dibiase then embrace in the ring. It was all a big setup! Tatanka then goes back and locks on the Million Dollar Dream before stuffing money in Lugers mouth. Great angle.

Rating: 6/10

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

Well it seems that Mabel is going solo again which is probably a look into the future. Jarrett is a guy I never liked when I was young but I am really appreciating him as a heel right now. Mabel  sure is popular as he walks to ring with Oscar. Both of these men were knocked out in the quater finals of the King Of The Ring 94 tournament. Jarrett is still looking for his first pay per view victory and this’ll be his third attempt. Jarrett uses his speed to get around Mabel whilst Mabel throws him around using his power. Jeff struts around the ring and Mabel grabs him and chokes him. Mabel then hits a nice powerslam before clotheslining Jeff out of the ring. This is both of these mens Summerslam debut. Jarrett takes down Oscar outside of the ring then sweeps Mabel off his feet from the outside. Back in the ring and Double J hits two double axe handles before getting caught. Jeff manages to get a sleeper locked on but Mabel squashes him in the corner. Mabel hits a spinning heel kick which gets him a 2 count! We then see Knuckleball Schwartz walking through the crowd with an “on strike” sign. Mabel hits a powerslam and gets a two count when Jarrett gets his foot on the rope. Jarrett then goes after Oscar again. Mabel catches him and Oscar slaps Jeff round the chops. Mabel throws Jarrett into the ringpost then chucks him back in the ring, setting him up for a splash. Jeff gets out of the way though. Jarrett sunset flips Mabel and the big man goes to sit on Jeff but he gets out of the way then rolls Mabel up for the win! Jeff Jarrett wins for the first time on pay per view! Mabel then chases Jarrett to the back!

Rating: 4.75/10

Vince McMahon gets on the microphone to announce that Leslie Nielson and his mate are still looking for The Undertaker.  They’re in the entrance way and suddenly The Undertakers silhouette appears behind them but then vanishes. More slapstick humour.

Now to some Bret/Owen history. Going back to Survivor Series where Owen blames Bret for his elimination. Then of course the Royal Rumble where Owen booted Brets leg from his leg. Then to Wrestlemania 10 where Owen Hart defeated Bret Hart. King of the Ring next where The Anvil cost Bret his match before helping Owen to win the tournament.

Before the match Jerry Lawler berates the Hart family who are at ringside. Jerry then speaks to The British Bulldog who says that tonight the family feud ends. Jim Neidhart is also at ringside and says that tonight we find out who the best Hart is and that’ll be Owen. Bruce blames Neidhart for the split in the family which is completely false.

Backstage to Bret Hart who says that he doesn’t hate Owen. But he does hate Neidhart. Bret blames Neidhart too, saying that it was him that planted all the seeds in Owens head.

Bret “Hitman” Hart vs. Owen Hart – WWF Title Match

Bret is 3-4 on Summerslam so he’s looking to even that out whilst this is Owens Summerslam debut. And what a debut to have. Owen has won his last four PPV matches including the win over Bret at Wrestlemania. Bret has lost two out of his last three. This is definitely the biggest match of Owens career up to now. The WWF title has NEVER changed hands at a Summerslam pay per view before. Interestingly in the three times it has been defended before, the champion has lost twice but the champion lost by countout. The only time the WWF champion has won was when the Ultimate Warrior defeated Rick Rude and that was in a cage. Could the same happen again? Owen attacks Bret before the bell but Bret gets back into it with an atomic drop. It’s back and forth in the early going. Bret hits a DDT to slow the match down. The cage is up to keep all the Hart family out of the ring. Bret is the first man to scale the cage but Owen pulls him back down. The King Of Harts hits an enzeguri to take Bret down and climb the cage himself. He gets all the way to the top but Bret hauls him back over. Bret then hits a belly to back suplex to bring Owen back into the ring. Owen hits a hard Irish Whip but Bret hits a bulldog to take the advantage.

There’s plenty of sliding out towards the door in this one so far. I’d just like to say that I would love to see Owen as WWF Champion. Bret Hart is the only man to have wrestled on every single Summerslam pay per view so far. And there have been seven Summerslam events. And this is the fifth time he has been in title matches at the second biggest show of the year. Both men try to slide out the door. Owen hits a dropkick off the top and then nips up and tries to climb out and almost falls out accidentally! Bret grabs him though and brings him back in. This is the third title match of the night. So far we’ve had one change hands. Owen and Bret both go down. I can’t believe we’re not finishing the night with this match. This is Brets 7th PPV in a row, a record he currently holds with the likes of I.R.S, Bam Bam Bigelow, Razor Ramon and Yokozuna. I don’t think Yoko is in action tonight though. Bret Hart once again climbs up the cage but Owen grabs him and pulls him back in again, right on the top rope. And guess what? Bret sells the leg. Jim Neidhart is up and celebrating. Owen crawls towards the door but Bret grabs his ankle to stop him. The crowd are definitely behind Bret in this one. Bret goes for an elbow off the second rope but Owen gets out of the way.

Owen the climbs up the cage  but his brother grabs him by the kneepad and pulls him back into the ring. The only thing stopping Owen from dropping to the floor is Bret grabbing him by the hair. The British Bulldog cheers Bret on from the outside as he throws Owen into the cage. Bret then climbs the cage and gets all the way over the top but Owen just grabs him and pulls him back in, suplexing him to the canvas. Owen hits a piledriver on Bret which looked pretty brutal. Both men then struggle to get up but it’s Owen up first and he attempts to climb out but Bret stops him. Owen then punches Bret back in the ring but slips himself. Bret crawls to the door but Owen pulls him back in. Suddenly the intensity rises and Bret tries to escape and Owen just won’t let him. Bret then slingshots Owen into the cage before crawling to the wrong corner. “Wrong corner idiot” classic line from Jerry Lawler. Bret once again smashes Owen into the cage. But Bret sells his knee. The champion gets up though and climbs the cage. Owen gets up then falls back down in a comedic way. Owen manages to get up again though and he pulls Bret back in.

Owen hits a spinning heel kick which takes down the champion. He then slowly climbs up the cage but it’s too slow and Bret catches him up. Both men slug it out at the top rope and it’s Bret that kicks Owen but Owen still manages to pull Bret back into the ring. Owen is the first to get up and climb up the cage but Bret catches him and suplex’s him off the cage! Both men just lie prone in the ring. This has been an awesome match. Probably time to go home now though. Bret ries to slide out the door but Owen pulls him back in and then locks on The Sharpshooter! It’s not a way of winning this match but it should incapacitate the Hitman. But Bret reverses it and locks on The Sharpshooter himself! Bret breaks the hold and then climbs the cage. He gets over the top but Owen gets up and pulls him back in again. Both men then fall back into the ring. Both men then get up. Owen climbs up the cage and Bret follows. They both go over the top then go at it on the outside of the cage. Bret hammers Owen and Owen gets his foot stuck in the cage! Bret then drops down and wins the match! Bret is still champion! But after the match Jim Neidhart clotheslines British Bulldog and his wife over the railing. Owen and Neidhart then throw Bret back into the ring and lock themselves in the cage. Neidhart and Owen hammer away at Bret as the other Harts try to climb over the cage. Owen and Jim manage to hold them off until Bulldog takes his shirt off and fights his way in. Owen and Neidhart manage to escape as all the Harts get into the ring.

Rating: 8/10

Now to a video package of what led up to the following Undertaker vs. Undertaker match. Starting with the casket match at Royal Rumble. Then we have soundbites from Firemen, Butchers and children saying they’ve seen The Undertaker. Tid Dibiase is next and he says that he’s bringing The Undertaker back to the WWF. Paul Bearer says he’s lying and Bearer will bring him back. We then see Ted Dibiase bring The Undertaker back. But that’s not the real Undertaker and Paul Bearer knows it too.

The Undertaker vs. The Undertaker

Well this is going to get confusing. Ted Dibiase is involved in a match for the third time tonight. The fake Undertaker is in black and grey and the real one is in black and purple. The real Undertaker is looking for his first PPV win since last years Summerslam where he defeated Giant Gonzalez. He’s used to fighting monster as his last three singles matches on PPV have been against Yokozuna, Kamala and Giant Gonzalez. Undertaker comes out in a huge casket. Not the same, but similar to the one we saw him depart in at Royal Rumble 94. Well that’s not true. Paul Bearer pulls out a huge urn which calls Undertaker out from the back. I love all the drama surrounding this match. But I am suprised that it’s on last. The real Undertaker is a few inches taller than the other. The real Undertaker sends the other one to the outside and then suplex’s him back in before sending him back out to the outside! The fake Undertaker eventually gets back into it by guillotining the real one on the top rope. The fake Undertaker goes for clothesline off the top but the real one pulls him down before executing the move himself!

The fake one starts a comeback though and knocks the real Undertaker down with a clothesline. The (real) Undertaker is actually unbeaten at Summerslam having beaten Giant Gonzalez and Kamala at the last two events. The fake one clotheslines the real one to the outside again. The crowd are silent but I don’t think it’s because they’re stunned McMahon. Back in the ring and the fake Undertaker has the advantage, hitting a chokeslam on the real one. He then hits the tombstone on the real Undertaker! Dibiase tells him to pin him but the real Undertaker sits up! The fake one goes for another tombstone but the real one reverses it and hits a Tombstone of his own! The real Undertaker gets the fake one up again and hits him with a second Tombstone! But still he doesn’t pin his opponent. He gets him up again and Tombstones him for a third time! He then covers him and the real Undertaker wins! Yeah that was kind of awful. The drama and storyline surrounding it was far better than the match itself.

Rating: 3.75/10

And that was Summerslam 94 everybody! For me, it will be remembered as the night of “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase. He was the running theme throughout the night. Starting with the tag team match. He led his team of Bam Bam Bigelow and I.R.S to victory over former tag team champions The Headshrinkers. Summerslam often starts with a tag team match. This was the seventh event and the sixth to start with tag team action. Only last years, the 1993 event did not. The Ted Dibiase theme would continue as Lex Luger and Tatanka met with rumours surrounding Lex Luger. Cue the twist and Tatanka aligning himself with Dibiase. I think that was the freshening up Tatanka needed for his character. He’s played the white meat babyface for a couple of years now and this will inject to new life into the native American. The third match surrounding Dibiase was the Undertaker vs. Undertaker match. Dibiase’s Undertaker turned out to be awful and stunk out the joint. Thankfully the real Undertaker won the match and the fake one wouldn’t be seen again.

On top of SummerTed we had three big title matches. The first was the Women’s title match between Alundra Blayze, the face of the Womens division and Bull Nakano. This was a really good match and probably the best Womens match up to this point. Blayze retained her title and maybe it’ll lead to a Blayze/Luna match down the line. The second title match was the Intercontinental title match between Razor Ramon and Diesel. Two men leading the New Generation into the next era. Razor would retain his title which possibly allows Diesel to focus on stepping up the card and going after the World title like he has previously. The other title match was between brothers Bret and Owen. A really really good cage match between those two. Bret won which ties them at 1-1 following Owens win at Wrestlemania. I think this feud has a long way to go.

The only other match on the card was Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel. Jarrett is growing on me as a heel and to be honest I thought he would lose this one. They seem to be testing the waters with Mabel as a solo competitor but he’s lost both the single matches he’s had. Interestingly on pay per view he’s won every tag team match and lost every singles. Maybe he should stick to tagging. Jarrett wins this one and it’ll be interesting to see where he goes. Maybe a future challenger for The Bad Guy?

Overall a decent pay per view. The Bret/Owen match was very good. One of the greatest ever. Diesel and Razor put on a decent match as did the women. Everything else was teetering around average except for the two Undertakers which was pretty awful. The sooner The Undertaker gets a decent opponent the better. The fake Undertaker, Kamala and Giant Gonzalez were all pretty awful and Yokozuna wasn’t much better. I’d love to see Undertaker/Owen Hart or even Undertaker/Diesel. It’s onwards to Survivor Series next and I look forward to that journey.

Overall Rating: 61/100 (Ranked 2nd out of 40)